If you and Dad ever got divorced, she said when she was in middle school, I’d never forgive you.

She said it to me, not us.

So I stayed.

I stayed through it all because not only would she hate me if I left, but, in the words of my best friend, he was the most stable thing I’d ever known.

I stayed because, in spite of everything else, I knew he would always be loyal.

Until he wasn’t.

So I left.

Well, to be clear, first I had a nervous breakdown, landed myself in the hospital, spent months and months and months trying to put myself back together, took a sabbatical in the desert, spent more months trying to make sense of it all, then I left.

But in the end I left because it was the only thing left to do.

And somehow I’m still the bad guy.

I feel so bad for him, I said as a recounted his personal woes – me buying a house, work stress, another dog that might need to be put down.

Michelle, she said…but the second syllable dropped lower in that way when you know that this is someone who knows you, loves you, wants only the best for you, but needs you to listen closely.

That second syllable makes me pay attention.

Michelle, she said, he brought this on himself. Remember what he did to you. You left everything behind because you couldn’t stay. I know you feel bad for him, that’s who you are, but don’t forget why you moved here. I remember when you first started here – I felt so bad for you. You aren’t the same person now. I’m not trying to lecture you…just don’t forget why you moved here.